The restaurant I used to work at was located right next to a hair salon where I would get my hair cut. My stylist was a regular at my restaurant and I had known him for a long time. The best part about getting my hair cut with him was that he always had a bucket of ice cold beers waiting for me, needless to say I always looked forward to my hair appointments. So one day before my shift I sat down for a hair cut….and many many beers. I was feeling pretty good but soon realized that I had to get over to the restaurant to start my shift. As I am walking over I see two of my managers out back smoking cigars. I go over and start talking to them and end up smoking a cigar myself. Now I am really feeling good…..but not that balanced. All of a sudden it starts getting really busy inside and I have to run in and start taking a shit load of tables. I was hoping to ease into my shift a little bit, but oh well. I have served tables when I was fucked up before and I am sure I will again. Everything is going fine and I have just finished talking a drink order for a party of five in one of our boothes. Waters and coffee….yay. I balance everything on my tray….or so I think…..and head back to the table. Right when I get there I set down a water which completely throws off the balance of my tray. Everything tips over onto the table and I have a vision of spilling a few cups of hot coffee all over this poor lady. Everything happened in slow motion while my server reflexes kicked in. I instinctively adjusted my hand under the tray and managed to keep all of the hot coffe cups from spilling, but loose all the waters. Definitely the lesser of two evils. I am so excited that I did not spill the coffee on anybody that I exclaim “What a save!”. The table looked at me like I was crazy for thinking I had saved anything, but I had saved something very important. A NICE FAT LAWSUIT!!
– Drunk Server