What Can I Get For $2.00?

What a two dollar tip can get you from a good server:

Answers to any question you may have about the menu, endless refills, prompt food service, courtesy laughs at your poor excuse for humor, a free birthday sundae with a birthday song included to your fucking fat, bitchy wife, a warm thank you, a wide-eyed stare in disbelief as they open the book to see 2.00 on 40.00, and a thorough cursing out behind the line.

- Freida