Do You Rollerskate?

Okay so here’s something that actually happens fairly frequently,
probably to many servers…

Tonight we were slow and I got a middle aged couple, kinda white-trash
looking, but my instinct told me I might still get a good tip out of
them. I walk up to greet them. Most female servers (if they’re smart)
will try to establish eye contact and/or a smile from the dominant
female in a party first. I look toward the woman, who was about 300
some-odd pounds, but she was looking down- would not make eye contact
with me. Okay, I figure, so I turn my attention toward her man… only
to find him leering at me with a creeeeepy smile. I resist the urge to
cringe right in his face.

So throughout the meal the guy won’t stop talking to me. He keeps
saying “Let me ask you a question…” and I’m thinking he’s going to
ask something legitimate about the food or something, but he keeps
asking me personal questions! I’m looking at his woman while I’m
answering all these questions, so she will feel included and hopefully
less awkward. But it doesn’t seem to matter. She looks totally
uncomfortable and she won’t even meet my gaze. “Are you from around
here?” the guy is asking me, then “You look so young to be married.”
in response to my attempting to throw him off the prowl by mentioning
my unavailability. He literally asks me, for no apparent reason, “Do
you roller skate?” I’m half expecting this guy to ask me to join he
and his wife for a rollicking threesome after their meal!

Part of me is wondering if there’s some chance they are brother and
sister, or just friends. But when he calls her “Babe” in front of me,
my suspicions are acknowledged. Most of all I’m wishing that we
weren’t so totally dead in the restaurant, so that I would at least
have an excuse to not be standing there talking to them. And when I
finally drop the bill off and see that the wife is picking it up to
pay, I figure I’m done for. I’ve wasted all that politeness enduring
this mans advances for NOTHING. Because there’s just no way that this
woman is going to leave me a good tip.

As I cart my bus tray over to their table, I can’t believe my eyes…
a 20% tip! Maybe this woman is just used to it. She literally ate 2
appetizers and a meal… most likely, I understand now, to numb the
pain of her miserable relationship with a horrible womanizer. Hey,
maybe the whole time she was feeling sorry for ME, for having to deal
with him.

- At Your Service

4 Comments

  • Guy

    August 4, 2010

    That’s sad about the lady. Food addiction was really hard for me to deal with when I was a waiter. I felt so bad for people who seemed so controlled by food. Kinda like I was a heroin dealer. The guy does sound like a real creep and I agree … she’s probably just drowning her sorrows.

  • slerver

    August 5, 2010

    Did you find yourself attracted to him in anyway? Sometimes it’s fun to have a 3some with 2 fat fuckers. All the sweaty rolls make for extra places to stick your tongue.

  • Teapotter

    November 20, 2010

    slerver you are disgusting; at least as much as the man this poor woman had to deal with, if not more. At your service – I know your pain, why do men think it’s OK to make inappropriate comments to their servers?! Are we supposed to be flattered?

  • xx_burner_xx

    July 22, 2011

    is there anyway an admin can block comments? all slerver ever talks about is rubbing his dick in someone butter, then spitting in it, rubbing the toast in his juicy crack, then retoasting it, or even more vulgar comments like the one above! this is getting disgusting and disturbing. its bad enough trying to hold down my lunch when reading posts about puke, piss, panties, hard-ons, etc.

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