Linguini And Assholes

I had this asshole guy and his wife at one of my tables. He orders a linguini and clams dish and she has some fucking salad or something. He is a dick the entire time, even though I got him every little thing his heart desired. I bring out his clams and he says that everything looks good. I come back later when he was about finished to make sure that everything was still going well. I see a bowl of clam shells and like 3 noodles left on his plate. “You all done her sir?” He looks up at me and says, “You know, there really weren’t that many clams in this dish, I think you should take it off the check.” “Well sir, if you would have told me earlier I could have done something about it, but since you are done with your meal already I can’t do anything about it.” Then he gets pissed. “Well you can see that there are no clams on this plates, right??” “Yeah, but I see a whole lot of shells, maybe there aren’t any clams on this plate because YOU ATE THEM ALL.” He gets all pissed and asks for a manager, thinking that I am going to get in trouble. It was all I could do to not point and laugh when my manager said, “You can’t eat your whole meal and then complain about it at the end and try to get it for free.” The guy was soooo pissed. I loved every second of it.

- Dan

Tagged as: asshole, check, table