Gamer: I walk up to my table and say…“Hello folks my name
is…” (And as I was doing my bland normal boring introduction
routine, i RUDELY get interrupted by this tiny little woman that was
screaming from the top of her NOODLE NOURISHING, MEAL SHARING, HOT TEA
LOVING, EXTRA PLATE DEMANDING, NO FASHION SENSE WHATSOEVER, NEEDY SON
OF BITCH, which requested, say it with me now…
Little Lady: “HOT WATA!!!!”
Gamer: As I was karate kicked from Mr. Miagi’s wife by her wonder
greet, I couldn’t help but feel the Colorado River flood my veins with
irritation and anger which lead to my palms to sweat profusely as if I
was in a damn sauna!! But I quickly gave a fake ass waiter smile and
said, “Ohh!! Umm, ok. Would you like some lemon with that?”
Little Lady: (Silence) she gave me one of those looks like why God
even bothered to create such a useless piece of garbage.
Gamer: A 10 second stare down occurred and I said, “Fantastic.
I’ll be right back with that hot wata. A special one.” I murmured.
And fuck was it special!! We all have heard from our epic training
video called “Waiting,” starring, gamer of all gamers, Ryan
Renolds, which attempted to teach the public on the do’s and
don’ts of dining. Apparently, this fucking broad didn’t see the
movie!!…
“You don’t FUCK with people who handle your food.” –Ryan.
Said that, I went to grab a cup of hot wata, grabbed some lemons, and
started walking back to Mrs. Noodles when suddenly I made a quick pit
stop by a P.O.S (a place where we run credit cards, grab condiments,
or in this case, ‘fuck with peoples food’ and them not knowing
it!!) where I gladly garnished my fresh saliva to that special hot
wata in which she politely asked for. Excessive? Perhaps. Fulfilling?
You fuckin betcha!!
Bill: $68.79
Tip: $6.00
Worth every fucking penny. That lady can lick ass!!
Love,
Adrian aka GAMER
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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
well said sir!!
Whatever. she’s an old lady. have some compassion. and spitting in a water? so very low class. it’s servers like you that give the rest of us a bad name. do us all a favor and find another line of work.
Rule of thumb. Don’t f&*( with a customer’s food or drink. Uncalled for in any situation and especially here. If you can’t handle this very MINOR annoyance you need to find another line of work.
You two ladies can lick ass as well!
Old Lady, thats your excuse? Kids lemme tell you something. This is California, where its not acceptable to wear white after labor day and your not complete unless you have a gay queen on your arm to tell you that sweater you have been wearing before you met your gay boyfriend is WHACK. Bottom line is, don’t be rude to people…especially people that handle your food!!!We have all had that table that gets under our skin. There is no SMALL annoyance when it comes to waiting tables. People suck, they are rude and obnoxious!!The nice people that tip well are a dying breed ESPECIALLY in stupid orange county. Way to go Gamer, even though it may not be every servers cup of HOT WATA for spit to miraculiously land in the gass of a BITCH, I still say…she got what she asked for…..and with a smile no less!!!
I’m glad to hear there are REAL people who understand my story. Thanks Sloanster!!
Fuckin’ Gamer! You crazy sob.
Loved the noodle nourishing line. Hilarious
I understand people are a pain in the ass and downright rude. I’ve been in the restaurant business for 15 years and have met some really nasty pieces of work but really there are other things you can do to get back at a customer without crossing the line into unsanitary. Spitting in someone’s food or drink is just downright foul and while she deserved mind games in no way shape or form does anyone ever deserve bodily fluids in something they order. While I am an excellent tipper and always polite in restaurants I really really hope I never enter the place you work for.