Free!!!

Reading all this stories bring back my days of serving throughout
college. I used to work at a fine dining steakhouse and would get the
craziest questions… here we go…

1. I had an older table that actually tried to tip me with a check!!!
yes, a check. i tried very had to decline it because the check was for
3 dollars and I’m not going to risk having the check bounce and get
slammed with fees. Luckily my other table heard the situation and
jokingly asked if we also accepted food stamps. Thankfully they left
me about a 40% tip.

2. I had a lady ask if our croissants for lunch were real croissants,
“sometimes people shape them to look like croissants but they
aren’t.”

3. The standqrd practice was to take an order and then serve the
bread. Nobody will want a salad or soup if they have bread in front of
them. I would love when I would be in the middle of taking the last
person’s order and a person from the table would interrupt and ask if
“I was bringing bread anytime soon.” Yes, I do have special powers and
can be in two places at the same time!

4. We offered a PORK porterhouse. Everybody thought it was a BEEF
porterhouse or they would ask “pork porthouse, what’s that?”

5. I had a really drunk table one time and we had to call the police
because they were assulting other people. When the police arrived the
“grandma” of the group went to punch the police officer. She was
promptly handcuffed. I went to bed that night thinking how she was in
jail. Serves her right.

-Alex

2 Comments

  • paxillated

    November 23, 2010

    1) Tip with a check? How classless! That other table FTW!

    2) I can understand your reaction; you must work at a genuine fine dining place. But the question about croissants was legit. I’d have asked it myself. Think of the “crescent rolls” dough-in-a-tube, and/or the bread on a “croissantwich.” (Can I sue “beekay” for false advertising?) There’s even a dif between proper croissants prepared with shortening, and those made with butter. (Mmmm… flaky, buttery, delicious …! Oh, no, there’s drool on my keyboard.)

    3) Amazing how people think you can split yourself, or move at hyperspeed – and will be inspired to do so by their rudeness. Idiots.

    4) Pork porterhouse? NOM! (Dang. More drool.)

    5) Drunk Grandma punching cop – that’s a classic!

    A story:
    Long ago (early ’70s), I was a jill-of-all-trades at a very popular short-order place. The boss, “Joy,” had a framed motto on the wall of her office: “The customer is ALWAYS… a bigger aXXhole than you.” Best boss I ever had. She took good care of her people. She’d throw customers out if they were rude to us.

    We were so popular that there were often lines out the door. We switched from breakfast to lunch at 11. At about 10 of, one of us to go yell, “Last call for breakfast! If you want breakfast, go to the front of the line!”

    I was running the front, and Joy was on the grill. The doors to the kitchen were open, and we could see each other. Last call had been made, the last breakfast had been served, and I was taking lunch orders. The clock read 10:59. A guy, a regular who should have known better, wanted breakfast. He pointed out the time, and I pointed out (nicely) that I had made last call already, and we were serving lunch now. Repetitive discussion ensued. The people behind the jerk were getting impatient.

    Knowing Joy was watching, I finally asked him if he’d like me to ask the cook, who was also our manager, if she’d like to make a breakfast just for him. He looked all satisfied, silly man. I think he thought “She’s gonna get in trouble now!” So I turned around, and yelled through the double doors, “Hey, Joy, you feel like cooking a breakfast just for this guy?” She responded instantly, at the top of her lungs, “F*CK NO!”

    God bless her, wherever she may be. If more bosses were like her, I bet the economy would be in better shape. Loyalty from bosses begets loyalty from employees.

  • Samir

    July 21, 2011

    I would have the same question about the pork porterhouse. I know that I would understand that it isn’t beef, but it honestly is something that I have never seen before on a menu so unless there was a clear description I would ask just to learn about it. One thing I like to do is ask about various dishes because I like to cook, though I avoid doing this if the waitress looks busy (esp during rush hour).

    With the croissant I agree with the person above that there are places that will serve the cheap fake stuff. Have never seen fake croissant served but well, you only find out if you ask. Same with the bread, a ton of restaurants have told their servers to not give bread until after they order and some appetizers have been sold. Then they will give a few pieces and if they are eaten, not give more until asked. If I go in a restaurant that serves free bread, I generally will ask immediately when the server asks about drinks, I never intend to be rude to the server.

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