It was my third day as a waiter. I was definitely a rookie and still learning the ropes. I am sat with a very strange party of six, very strange. A motley crew of different races and ages that I couldn’t imagine were related began to file toward the table. Five members of the party are sat and the sixth member arrived about five minutes later. What an entrance. A 6’2″ muscular “woman” wearing a red dress strolled toward the table. “Hello darling,” she said in deep and eccentric voice, “are you going to be taking care of us?” “Ah, yes, ah, ma’am, I sure am,” I stammered, lost in the plastic gaze. “Oh wonderful, wonderful!” she exclaimed through her massive botoxed lips. She completes her grand entrance by giving everybody at the table a kiss. I approach the table to get the drink order, “What can I get for you, um, miss?” I say, staring at “her” enormous adams apple. “I would love some Sambuca, make sure it has the 3 espresso beans on the side handsome.” Oh my god. After figuring out what the fuck she (he) was trying to order (thank you internet in the back) I brought back the drink and tried to escape without engaging in anymore conversation with the ma…women, but to no avail. “You know I am a performer in Europe,” he/she whispered to me in a steamy voice. “Oh really?” I say, trying to avoid any sort of eye contact. “Of course darling!” bellows the transvestite, “I could show you things you would never forget!” You already have sir, you already have.
- Blair
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh, that is CLASSIC.
Not everyone is the same, get over it and stop judging people.
Was it Eddie Izzard? lol, that guy is hilarious!
I have a few friends who are involved in drag performances from time to time. When they’re all queened-up, I find you just have to take whatever they say with a sense of humour. It’s all play, taking on a persona much more confident and powerful than they normally portray. There’s no harm in it. Play along and they’ll go their merry way when they bore of messing with you. Don’t argue with a drag queen.