Do You Take Cream With That?

It is another crazy night at the restaurant and I am sat with a middle aged couple. They are very nice and require very little attention, my favorite. The lady orders a coke and the man asks for a coffee with cream. I return with their drinks and begin taking the order. While the lady is ordering I watch as the man opens up one of the coffee creamers and shoots it down like a shot of tequila. I do a double take and have to ask the lady twice whether she said salad or soup. I am convinced that I imagined the event until I ask him what he would like for dinner and he responds by taking another shot of creamer, leaving his coffee untouched. I take his order for a steak and return to the computer to send it in. When I get back to the table with the salads I notice that there are about 5 empty creamer containers all stacked neatly on the table. “Do you need some more creamer for your…um…coffee?” I ask setting down his salad. The man looks over to his wife with a guilty smile only to be met with her cold gaze and then looks up at me. “No, I think I have been cut off.” He never did touch that coffee.

- Blair

5 Comments

  • Maureen

    December 16, 2009

    *puts head down* … I do that. It lines my stomach and prevents sometimes terrible heartburn. I am more discreet than yon gent, though. :-P

  • xx_burner_xx

    July 21, 2011

    I do that too. It settles my stomach, stops heartburn, prevents heartburn, boosts my metabolism, helps me with my dry mouth, and helps me with my calcium levels.

  • Yuck

    November 2, 2011

    To the two commenters who confessed to doing this – how disgusting! Surely you must be aware that potentially HUNDREDS of sticky, germ-infested snotty hands have touched the outsides of those creamers…little kids ‘play’ with them, they fall on the floor, and they have been handled by god knows how many people with questionable hygiene. Still want to put your lips on those nasty things??? If you have a heartburn problem, bring some damned Tums or order a glass of milk, you tightwad! It “helps me with my calcium levels”??? Jeezus…

  • Sasha

    February 1, 2013

    Umm, milk/cream will NOT help heartburn unless it’s a one-time occurance. Dairy causes your stomach to produce extra acid to combat it, and that extra acid leads to chronic heartburn and acid reflux. Eating too many tums will do the same thing. Eating spicy foods will lessen stomach acid which lessens heartburn.
    Nice try using heartburn as an excuse to guzzle calories of cream though ;)

  • Tigger

    September 11, 2013

    Fuck you Sasha

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