There’s A Hair In My Salad


Caesar Salad

Caesar Salad (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

]” — ONE of many variations. See e.g. Doral Chenoweth on this. As an eye-catcher in Caesar salad, it should be replaced by something like this, as soon as available. — any IP 12:43, 30 July 2007 (UTC) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)”]Caesar salad at Nichols Restaurant in Marina d...

Caesar salad at Nichols Restaurant in Marina del Rey, California. :Comment: “A far cry from the original ;

The angry, red faced woman looks frantically around the dining room from her perch on table 61, like a blond bird trapped to its ass in quick sand. I notice because I’m in charge and that’s part of what I do, I notice things. My body tenses because I know that I’m about to be subjected to a little of this nasty woman’s outrage, I’m just not yet sure why. One of my waiters, a pleasant young guy named Cory is leaning sheepishly over the table a look of apologetic sadness written across his face. “I want to see a manager, RIGHT NOW!” The woman demands in a shrill voice.

I paste a professional smile onto my face and amble reluctantly over,

“Is everything okay?” I ask hopefully.

“No, everything is not okay.” She states unequivocally and looks across at her husband. I spare him a cautious glance to see if he is friend or foe and am rewarded with a hairy eyeball.

“Oh?” I say.

“Look at this!”

I look down at the $3.99 side Caesar salad in front of her, and there hanging over a lettuce leaf next to her fork is a long strand of blond hair. I take it all in and look back at her, she has a full head of long blond hair. I close my eyes and think about the cooks in my kitchen the guys who made her salad, they’re all African Americans with short Afros. The only other guy who would have touched her plate was a Mexican food runner with a shaved head.

My reverie is interrupted by the shrill voice again, “What are you going to do about this?”

It’s her hair, I know it is. “I’m so sorry,” I hear myself say, “I’ll get you a fresh salad and take it off the bill.”

“Is that it?” She demands.

“You ought to pick up the whole check, that’s disgusting.” Her husband chimes in.

I want to say to him that he should know, that he sleeps next to it every night and wakes up next to it every morning, but I’m no longer who I once was. Now I’m afraid they’ll complain to corporate so I say;

“How about I buy you guys a couple of beers?”

The wife nods, letting me know its not perfect but she’ll take it.

How did I get here? What have I done?

– J.R. Locke

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  • Tom

    May 26, 2012

    Well done, sir. Glad to have you watching our backs and righting the situation.

  • Maggie

    June 6, 2012

    That has happened to me many times, the exact same situation. One lady got so irate her fiancee apologized to me and said what I wanted to say to her: “Honey, I think it’s your own hair in there. Not someone who works here.” It was priceless. Unfortunately she paid and left me nothing on a $45 tab, after we remade everything and took it off her bill.

  • Patty

    June 8, 2012

    Deja vu. Same thing the other day. They complained of not one but 2! hairs! One was definitely an eyelash. One was ? who knows. She said this happened to her son all the time. I thought, “Maybe it’s his hair or eyelashes falling out!” That just seems weird. Good way to get a free lunch though. Not for us. Ugh!

  • momo

    June 9, 2012

    Hair isn’t a big deal. I find hair in my food all the time. I pull it aside and keep eating. Worse things happen in the kitchen. A hair is the least of your worries.

  • Adam

    June 14, 2012

    Haha I completely get your frustration. Its difficult having to swallow your pride and act professional when really you just want to shake them and bring them down off their high horse. :)

  • Jo_S

    June 22, 2012

    You should have a little whip and do this:


    July 26, 2012

    People never cease to amaze me. And, FYI people, this makes you look terribly stupid when you have a freak out melt down session, you should be embarrassed for yourselves! Shame on you. Haha

  • Lea

    August 29, 2012

    Cheapskates like that are exactly why I sold my restaurants. As an owner, I can assure I would not have given her the two beers.

  • ang

    July 30, 2013

    Haha! At least once a week at a small restaurant I worked at in Chicago(we had like 4 workers in all including servers and cooks). “No. No one who works here has dark curly/wavy hair, literally no one…”

  • Rasputin

    September 9, 2013

    Uh I don’t complain unless I’m CERTAIN it didn’t come from me. My hairs fall out all the time so who knows it could be mine. ONLY time I made a small stink was when they brought my chicken out RAW. Sorry but I can’t eat undercooked meat much less raw meat. It has a taste to it and makes me sick looking at it. I couldn’t eat and they actually were wanting to fix things but undercooked chicken is just one thing I can’t eat. Hamburgers, steak fine I love them a little raw but chicken I’ll throw up.

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