The other day I had a lady order my restaurant’s Pasta Fajule soup. Keep in mind, it is called PASTA Fajule. So this lady says that it sounds so good and that she can’t wait to try it. I drop off the soup and go and start another table. As I walk by this lady flags me down and says, “There is to much pasta in this soup!” All I could do was smile and say, “Well, it is called Pasta Fajule.”

- Matt

I approach a couple at one of my tables that has been waiting for about 2 minutes. “Hi, how you folks doing today,” I say to the menus blocking their faces. As I stand there waiting for a response, the lady at the table lowers the menu just below her eyes, scowling at me, and says, “do you serve dessert here?” I stare back at her blankly, not sure if this was a real question. What kind of restaurant doesn’t sell dessert? I rattle off all of our desserts and point them out to her in the menu, under the “desserts section.” “Mmm those all look great, but I have to be good tonight, I will just have a bowl of soup.” Don’t worry, she complicated that request too……and tipped me like shit.

- Megan

I love when people try and tell you how to do your job. Especially
when it comes to something as simple as seating.

It wasn’t a really busy time of the day
on Thursday, but it was busy enough that we had a wait for a booth.

I love it when there is a wait. People sit there and stare at me. If
enough time passes, they sit there and glare at me. My favorite.

I had three names on my list, not bad.
Joe party of 2
Pam party of 4
Rich Party of 3

All of which obviously wanted booths. The place I work at is small.
People who are waiting can see if tables are open.

A booth opened, so logically I seat Joe, the first name on my list. I
come back and find myself being given the stink eye by Pam. I’m
thinking come on lady, what did I do?

So next thing you know she walks over to me.

“How can I help you?”, I say in my sugar coated voice.

“You sat those people before us” she said.

So right away I break out my list…I show her how I wrote down the
times both of them had come in and Joe was definitely before her.

“Fine”, she says, “But you still put them at a booth when I
specifically heard them say they would take whatever is available.”

Okay, doesn’t she see we have all tables open? Just no booths.
Idiot.

I tell her, “Ma’am if they told me they would take whatever was
available I would have sat them right when they walked in the door,
and we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

She looks at me, looks out into the restuarant, and then develops an
embarrassed expression. She knew she was wrong.

She and her family finally got sat at their much anticipated booth. I
had the pleasure of running out there soup and salad later on, she
avoided eye contact of course.

- Princess Consuela Banana Hammock

Here is a scenario we can all relate to. You approach your table and get them some drinks. After returning with the drinks you inform them that the soups of the day are, in this case, lentil with sausage, and minestrone. Now the fun begins. “What can I get for you sir?” “I will have the chicken parmagiana.” “Ok, salad or soup?” “What is the soup today?” “We have lentil with sausage and minestrone.” “I will have the lentil.” And now on to the next person. “What can I get for you sir?” “Um, I will have the spaghetti, what are your soups?” “Lentil and minestrone.” “I will have the lentil.” “Tasty choice sir, and what can I get for you miss?” “Do you have any clam chowder today?” “No, all we have is lentil with sausage and minestrone.” Anybody sensing a pattern here? The table didn’t.