The other day, a female couple came into the restaurant, clearly
“together”, and took a seat outside. One lady ordered a diet coke, the
other a water. I promptly brought out there drinks, and took the
order, started the app, and was on my way. A few minutes later, as I
walked by their table,( hands full of food for the next table over )
the diet coke lady flags me down and asks me if I gave her diet coke,
bc it tastes “funny”. I sigh inwardly, knowing our diet coke does, for
some reason, have a different taste to it, that is more noticeable to
some than others. I tell her ok, continue to the table that i have the
food for, then return to them and offer to get her something else.
After telling her that it is indeed diet, and that the only remedy is
a different drink, she looks annoyed but decides to stick with what
she has. Ok. A minute later I drop off their app, and she begins to
complain again about the drink, and her gf gets in on the action,
telling me ” I don’t know with this is, but it’s not diet coke”, they
also claim they found a hair in it, and look at me accusingly ( I have
very long hair, but it is back and secure at work, and I am extremely
careful about it). She then says she wants another drink, but she
still wants diet coke. Aha, conspiracy theory, I am obv lying about it
being diet, so bring me the same thing so I can prove it. Whatever. I
am busy, and one of the doors is stuck, so I ma having to take the
long way around each time I go outside, so I ask the bartender to drop
it off for me. BTW, neither of us were able to locate a hair in the
glass anywhere AND she had drank practically the whole soda. I pass by
the table again, and now they want a manager. wtf? that’s me, but
awkward bc I can tell they’re upset with me, it’s as tho they think I
am intentionally bringing them a tainted drink. Lame. I tell them I am
the supervisor, and they tell me they are leaving, don’t want their
entrees, bc they are so grossed out by the hair in the soda (which
must be why they ordered another and ate the entire app AFTER the
supposed incident) AND reiterate that it was NOT a diet coke. I
apologize, but stick to my guns and tell them I am aware our diet has
a diff taste bc it’s on the gun. But no, she repeats it’s NOT diet and
they’ll pay for the app but that’s it. Of course, I tell them no,
we’ll cover it, so they leave. I am just baffled by this, I mean, I
can understand the taste thing…it’s not the first time someone has
sent back a diet for that reason. And if there truly was a hair, I can
understand that, too…although using that as an excuse AFTER seeing
it and continuing to eat the app doesn’t fly with me. What I don’t
understand is throwing a big fuss over a soda that can be replaced
with something else, and basically accusing my bartender and I of
intentionally giving them an off drink. What could we possibly have to
gain? It’s not as tho making a guest angry is beneficial to either of
us! My bartender had her own theory…she swears the younger of the 2
was checking us both out, and the other got jealous. True? I dunno.
What I do know is that was a weird situation that those ladies blew
waaayyyy out of proportion. It’s a soda, not the end of the world!

- Serenity

One day I was happily completing my paperwork at the end of a long shift at the calculator table which happens to be next to the employee bathroom of course, cause we all know how much a restaurant cares for it’s staff. I was close to finishing when my general manager comes rushing around the corner with an urgent look in his eyes and flings himself into the bathroom. Not only did I almost get knocked over on his way in, I heard every single solitary sound of him severely raping the toilet. My manager and I did not look each other in the eye for a solid two months.

-Bessie

My manager was telling us that he can tell what country an asian is
from based on the number of syllables in the last name. He has three
different asian EMPLOYEES with one syllable last names. They are from
the Philippines, China, and Vietnam.
-Jon

I am the manager at a restaurant. We usually close at 9 pm, but since we had been so dead I made a managerial decision (and I wanted to go home) and decided to close ten minutes early. I turn off the sign and lock the front door. At 8:54 somebody begins pounding on the front door, obnoxiously. Figuring it was somebody who worked there I went and opened it. I am greeted by a fat old bitch who instantly says, “You are open till 9.” I hate her. “I am sorry miss, we have been so slow that we closed early, I can get you some food to go if you would like.” She then takes out her cell phone and shows me the time, as if I don’t already know. “You close at 9, it is only 8:54.” “Yes, we do close at 9, but as I explained it was so slow that we closed early. Do you want anything to go?” She stares at me and says to me in a cold voice, “Are you the owner?” I am a 24 year old man, who looks like he is about 19 when I shave, but somehow I must have started this restaurant back in the 70’s. “No, but I am the MANAGER.” She looks over at her fat husband who is practically sleeping in the front seat of the car and asks if he wants anything to go. He sluggishly shakes his head back and forth in what must have been a no. “I am going to call and complain about this.” Oh no, that means she will call my superiors, complain that we didn’t keep our restaurant fully staffed to serve two people when we were already closed, they will tell her to shut the fuck up, and she will still come back anyway. Who the hell comes in right when a restaurant is closing and expects to be seated? A dumb fat bitch.

- Mark

One night I at my old sports bar/restaurant job, I was the only
bartender for the time until my relief showed up. This night was a big
game night so the place was packed. I had the entire bar, PLUS 11
tables to wait on, not to mention the drink orders I had to take from
the servers in the restaurant. One of my managers had been fired
earlier that week and had left some items behind this bar. As you
would guess the night was a living hell as I tried to juggle basically
19 different parties. As one of my managers showed up I felt a sigh of
relief as I thought I was getting help. NOPE. Just there to pick up
the fired managers DVD. Needless to say I quit a few nights later, WTF
is up with some managers?

-Jason

Poor cell phone etiquette is something us servers see in action quite often. I had an experience with one of these customers recently. I went to greet her table where she was waiting for another person. Upon saying hello I was met with a hand and a gesture to her phone, so I immediately left her alone thinking she didn’t want to be bothered while on the phone. After about ten minutes of her constant cell phone conversation, I noticed her flag down a manager. After he left the table I went over to ask him what she had wanted. She said, “I have been waiting here for ten minutes, and nobody has gotten me a drink. I want something to drink!” I walked back to the table and asked the lady what she wanted to drink. “Its about time I got some service, I have been waiting here for ten minutes. I will have an iced tea.” “Oh I am sorry, I thought that by you holding up your finger at me the FIRST time I came over meant that you wanted to be left alone until you were off the phone, I will work on my sign language skills. “