I am sat with a party of four and after asking them what they would like to drink (which took awhile) I returned to get their dinner order. As the table is giving me orders, one of the men at the table turns to his wife and says, “Are you going to get the fish?” The lady turns to me and says, “No. I am going to have something lite. I will have the Fettucini Alfredo and the Sausage and Lentil soup.”

- Jenny Craig

Today I had a table of 2 women. They were very nice, it was a mother and daughter get together kind of dinner. They wanted wine, and being the wino that I am, I helped them choose. I brought them tasting after tasting, told them what everything would pair with, the whole 9 yards. They must have been drunk before they even got the bottle! They decide on a bottle of chianti, and two entrees. I make sure they have everything and even give them a dessert that they loved. So, after about 2 and a half hours and being the last ones in the restaurant, they are ready to pay the check. They thank me over and over again for my great service (a bad sign) and leave. I walk over expecting a nice fat tip. 5 dollars on 70! Thanks ladies, please NEVER COME BACK!!

- Blair

I am working my way around a party of 12 taking their orders for dinner. I approach one guy and he says, “I will have the filet with the scalloped potatoes, can I get extra scallops in that?” Thankfully I didn’t have to explain to him that he was a moron because right after his request the guy sitting next to him turns his head and says, “you’re a dumbass!” 

- Sid