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While a student I once worked for a caterer on New Years Eve because I didn’t have a Honey and needed the Money.
Assigned 8 tables, I decided to work them from the closest point were the food was to the furthest point out. Hey, it was methodical.
One chump at the furthest table wanted to know why his table was last to be served and I proceeded to explain my logic. 8 tables, 2 legs, you get the drift.
Clearly my explanation was not satisfactory as he continued to press me again and again as to why “HIS” table was last.
I ushered the New Year in vowing:
• Never again suppress the desire to rip some asshole’s head off at a dinner table
• NEVER again work on New Years Eve, even if I had to “rent” a date.
And to top it all off I made jack for the Night!!!
So one night I was closing and there was about 15 minutes left when an older couples comes in for dinner. So they sit down and their drink order alone was so detailed I knew I would be there for awhile. They proced to take there time and eventually order a cheap meal to share. The man then tells me that since we are closed that the kitchen can go ahead and pile on extra sides since we are going to throw them out anyway, again… because we are CLOSED. Isn’t that nice of him to accept free food. So I do not tell any of this to the kitchen but it still comes out with an extra baked potato, whatever, he is so excited that he hands me a dollar to give to the man in the kitchen responsible. When the bill finally arrives it is about $60 and he proceeds to hand me a two dollar bill and say this is all yours and I need you to bring me change on the bill which he was paying with a hundred dollar bill. I bring him his change and he says thank you so I say your welcome as I walk away and he apparently did not hear me and yells “excuse me! but I said thank you!” so I said “and I said your welcome”. Worst people I have ever met and unfortunately I had to serve them a few more times after that and then eventually I refused to.
I worked at a tacky 50’s style dinner during my University years. One slow summer Thursday afternoon an older couple sat down and were ready to order right away. The lady ordered hard poached eggs and tea, and the “gentleman” ordered a pop club sandwich. I took there order, rang it in and dropped off their drinks. Returning to the mind numbing task of polishing silverware, 5 minutes later i am called over to the table to ask how long the food is going to be. Granted there was no one else in the joint, it shouldn’t have taken very long but 5 minutes? Do you really want your food to be ready in 5 Minutes?! Meaning do you really want your food to have been cooked all day and just sitting around to be put on a plate? Anyways, I gave my best smile and said i would check on it and see how long it will take. I go back to the kitchen and after being looked at like i am freak, I am told about 5 mins. Anyone who has ever served eggs knows that anything “HARD” means it takes a lot longer. So Hard POACHED is going to be about 7-10 minutes. So I return to my table, tell them the estimated 5 mins and offer more hot water for the tea. Well only THREE minutes later they say they don’t want to wait and it’s been too long. The gentlemen has his wallet out and says “all just pay for the drinks” He wasn’t all that mean throughout the process just short and stubborn. So i ring up the drinks and on their way they go. Smart remarks under their breath and all.
You’re probably thinking, “That wasn’t so bad, what’s she complaining about” Well the next day, I am at the local Walmart picking up something before my shift (In my uniform) and who do I happen to see while I am there!? My favourite grumpy couple!!! When I get to work about 45min later I am pulled aside by my boss who tells me that not only did I have a complaint about my service but that the guy was outraged he had to pay for his drinks yesterday!! 10 min lecture on customer service and being told to not charge for drinks in that situation again! Really people don’t you have anything better to do than harass a diner waitress GET A LIFE!
We were chewing the fat about what we did in high school while I was at college when one guy, who clearly had a skewed brain wave pattern, bragged that while working as a cook in a Burger Joint, he would swat flies and put them on the burger, then cover the dead fly with a pickle. I first heard that demented story almost 40 years ago and, to this day, I always check under my pickle before I eat a fast food burger. ANY fast food burger.
GAB
Ordering Orally
A man and two women were dining at our restaurant, only drinking water, and ordered our fajitas to share. The waitress correctly tried to at least up-sell some guacamole to increase her check average. The two women both went for it.
“Sir, would YOU like some guac?” She asked the man.
“No, I’ll just eat the girls’,” he replied.
“Then you’ll likely get thirsty. I’ll bring some more water.”