Stuck Serving

Geography Lesson

StuckServing — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 22:44:24 +0000

I work at an Italian restaurant. One night I was sat with an older husband and wife. The guy was pretentious, trying to act like he knew everything about everything and I was just an idiot waiter. He tells me that he would like some sparkling water. “Of course, we have San Pellegrino.” He looks at me like I am stupid and says, “I don’t want that. I want an ITALIAN sparkling water. Do you have Perrier?” Ah yes, the delicious ITALIAN Perrier. Bottled in the heart of Tuscany, just south of Paris. Idiot. I took great pleasure in correcting him.

- Waiting 101

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

Pigeon Talk

StuckServing — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 20:44:38 +0000

I work in a Chinese restaurant. I love my co-workers, but hardly any of
them speak English very well. Most servers don’t last long there
because if you don’t get down what my arch nemesis co-worker (who’s
worked there 20+ yrs) calls “pigeon talk”, you can’t communicate with
the cooks, manager, or other staff. I, however, grew up in a
non-English-speaking-household, so I KNOW “pigeon talk”… cut all
your statements down to the bare minimum of words, speak slowly, use
the present tense for everything you say, and watch their face to see
if you’re actually being understood. Easy breezy.

So one night I get seated a table of 6 college students, two of which
are Asian but speak impeccable English… obviously Americans of Asian
descent. The table is going fine, they order, eat, etc. I go to clear
their plates and as usual politely approach each customer and ask “Are
you finished with that?” before I take their plate away.

I get to the first Asian young man. “You finish?” I ask, looking him
right in the eye. “You no eat?” I continue, pointing my finger at his
plate. Ooops…

Fuck me, I’m an asshole.

- At Your Service

Stupid Kid!

StuckServing — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 08:05:49 +0000

It was a crazy, busy night. One of the 8 tops on the list had two
obnoxious little brats with them. One was about ten years old…he was
sitting at the host stand and kept asking anyone and everyone in view
any question that popped into his mind. The last straw for me was ”
Hey, what’s that?” I said, “Those are hushpuppies.” (This is about ten
questions in..all while I have four 7/8 tops all at 7pm, plus walk in
big tops asking me every 5 minutes when their table would be ready.
SORRY we had a 15 top at opening!!)
He asked if they were made out of real puppies…I paused for a
moment…then said YES. I know…. He said “That’s so mean, we have a
dog at home, I won’t eat those!”

I felt a slight pang of guilt, but I was TOO damn BUSY to placate him
anymore.

One of the worst busy nights I have ever had but I still laugh when I
think about that!!

- CB

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

My Bad

StuckServing — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 21:07:01 +0000

So I’m a teacher by trade, but had many a waitressing job before and
even during my teaching career. My husbands business moved us from a
bustling city to a small rural town, and thus I had to find a new job.
Unfortunately in this economy it is even harder to find a decent job
in small towns than it is in the city. So I went on the mad job hunt
and only got an interview at ONE place, a small religious non-profit
school. I was accepted but the pay they were offering was PITIFUL. So
I decided to risk my hand for a bigger offer by playing the bluffing
game. I, the city girl, told the woman who interviewed and offered me
the job that I had also been offered a position for more money at
another school in the area, in hopes that she would counter-offer a
larger salary. My mistake. She wished me the best of luck at the other
school and bid me farewell. Fuck!

2 weeks later I finally find a job waiting tables. Literally my third
day on the job, who walks in and gets seated in my section but Mrs.
Religious-Non-Profit herself and her family. I panic. Making up
something clever like “This is my after-school job” completely slips
my mind.

She recognizes me of course and says something innocently nasty like
“So this is the job you got?”. I turned red, laughed, and bustled away
without even asking what they wanted to drink. They got water. No one
complained.

And of course, as if the universe desires to see me squirm, she and
her family come in once a week and almost always end up in my section.
I have to scramble around and beg any other waiter to take the table.
It’s not too difficult because they are actually really good tippers.

Needless to say, I’ve learned a thing or two about living in the
country now…
- At Your Service

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

Awkward ID Moment

StuckServing — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 06:16:39 +0000

I walk up to a table today and see a middle-aged woman (around 40) hanging on a guy who looks barely 25. I tell them the specials and ask them what they would like to drink. The lady replies, “Margarita” and the guy asks for a beer. Now I am stuck in a very awkward situation here, I obviously didn’t ask for her ID because she is old enough to be my mother and now I have to ask for this guy’s ID because he looks way younger than 30 and I like my job. So I nonchalantly ask for his ID and just when I think I am in the clear Cougar pipes up and says, “Hey, why didn’t you ask for my ID!!?” I give an awkward chuckle and smile while I check the dates on his ID and notice Lover-boy is only 23. She again says, “Hey, why didn’t you check mine, do I look too old or something??” Now I’m irritated…I’ve had it with this desperate cougar giving me a hard time for doing my job, she could have just let me check his ID, not said anything and saved us both an awkward moment, but since she wants to draw attention to the obvious I decide to get even. I turn toward her and smile my most sugary, innocent server smile and say, ” Of course not Ma’am, you look gorgeous, I just wanted to make sure your son was of age! I’ll be right back with your cocktails!” I turned on my heel and immediately scurried away from the table before the Cougar could say anything. The rest of the meal she barely looked at me and I wasn’t surprised when I didn’t get a tip, but man it was worth it to see the look on her face!

-Ginny

Can You Take Our Pic?

StuckServing — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 07:39:57 +0000

Has anyone ever had a table of desperate 20-something women on girls night out…I have. All night they drink fruity concoctions from the bar, “this is too strong, this isn’t strong enough”…blah blah blah, they talk crap about all the men who have screwed them over and then at the end of the meal ask you…”Can you take our picture???” You being the ever-pleasing server say, “Of course ladies!!” All of a sudden your hands are full of 15 cameras, they all need a picture of course. Seriously, I’m not a photographer, I’m at work, it’s called email ladies…use it!

-Kristen

Alright, Just Let Me Get My Camera

StuckServing — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 06:23:06 +0000

So I walk in to work feeling great. I rode my motorcycle to work early
in the morning, dropped off my work clothes and took off for a 5 hr
ride before work to have some fun. I ride in with a huge smile on my
face after tearing up one of my favorite roads. I change, clock in,
and get set-up started. I got half way done when I got my first table
and went to greet them. Redneck husband and wife…perfect. Everything
went surprisingly smooth until I took their food out.

Me:”Can I get you guys anything else?”

Wife:”Naw I’m ok.”

Husband:”You can hold the camera while we fuck!”

Me:”Enjoy your meal guys.”
(as I walk away)

Really?!

- Joe

What Do These Numbers Mean?

StuckServing — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 20:48:34 +0000

Ok so I always have people ask me about the “numbers” next to the menu
items. It sometimes becomes tiresome to keep saying “That is the price
sir” but I do it. The other day I actually had one particular idiot
ask me ” Well 14 what?” I wanted to say “14 Yen sir we expect that you
can do the conversion on your own.” Idiot, Just a tip folks chances
are the menu will be priced according to the country you are dining
in.
- Tom

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

Maced!

StuckServing — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 02:13:36 +0000

It was a pretty busy night and I had just pre-bussed one of my tables. I went into the kitchen to give the plates to the dishwasher, but he was not behind the sink. Where was he? He was standing right next to the door, shaking a big container of cayenne pepper into some soup. As I passed him I was hit with a big cloud of pepper right in my face! It absorbed nicely into my eyes and hurt so f***ing bad!! I was crying for like ten minutes and was subsequently behind on my tables for the rest of the night. Thanks jackass!!! What are you waiting for?

- Sarah

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

Mama Tiger

StuckServing — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 21:05:27 +0000

I waited on a group of 6 adults and 9 kids. The restaurant was
extremely busy and we had to seat the group in the “event” room. This
requires me to give up my floor tables until the room is taken care
of. I come to one young man of about 9. He asked me if there is egg in
the batter on the chicken tenders, being busy I answered that I didn’t
know but I would imagine there was. He was like can you check I’m
allergic to eggs. So I reluctantly go check with the kitchen. Our head
cook is also the owner and he can be very gruff, and I am slightly
intimidated by him. I stick my head in the door and ask the question.
He looks at me like I’m crazy says he doesn’t know but he thinks there
is. So I go back and tell the kid, he looks so disappointed. But I’m
wanting to get this group taken care of so I can get back on the floor
and make some money. So I’m getting ready to try and talk the kid into
something else when his mother comes over and tells me she would like
the cook to check the ingredients on the box to see if eggs are used.
She must have seen the panic in my eyes and followed me to the kitchen
door. The boss stopped what he was doing got the box from the freezer
and checked the ingredients in front of the mother. It had eggs as we
thought. She then tells me that she use to just accept the answer we
don’t know but we think, of being brushed off because the rest. was
busy. But after seeing your child being disappointed over and over and
realizing that sometimes the help is wrong she demands they check.
Something about this Mothers determination for her son impressed me. I
hugged her and told her as much. she remains one of the best mothers
ever in my eyes. Plus the group made the time worth my while by
tipping about 25.00. Not bad.
- Bullwinkle

Too Laid Back

StuckServing — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 19:37:38 +0000

One night I was serving a very nice and easy going middle-aged couple. They ordered some wine, an appetizer, and two entrees. The lady was very nice and I barely had to get them so much as a refill on their waters….love it. I bring out their entrees and go by the soda fountain to talk to the other servers. It is really slow so we are all just hanging around. I glance over at my table and see the lady wave me over. What could possibly be wrong? “Hi, everything tasting ok?” The lady smiles and says, “yes, everything is tasting fine…but there is a big hair in my food,” which she then proceeds to pull out and show me. It was a huge long black hair, definitely from the hostess since she is the only one with hair exactly like that. “Oh my gosh I am so sorry! Let me get you a new plate, it wont take long!” “No, no, its fine. I don’t mind.” Wow. “Please miss, let me get you another plate! You shouldn’t have to eat food with a hair in it.” “Nope, it is fine. It wont kill me.” “Miss you are one of the coolest tables I have ever had. At least let me give you some free dessert, I insist.” “Ok, you have twisted my arm.” After her meal I gave her a big piece of chocolate cake and she gave me a big tip! I still wish she would have let me get her a new plate though….gross.

- Fabio

Glass Half Full

StuckServing — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 02:44:36 +0000

I work in a very small restaurant with only 2 other waiters, and one
of those waiters is my arch nemesis. I hate him with a fiery passion,
but have to deal with him. He covers the dinner shift alone every
Sunday night… but consistently calls out and/or asks me to work for
him Sundays. Because let’s face it: most Sunday nights suck for tips.

I decided to work for him one Sunday (even though I usually don’t try
to do him any favors, just to spite him). I was bored and figured I
could use a little extra cash. Even if I only made $20, it’d be worth
it.

I get there at 5 pm. I wait on 2 tables by 6 pm. One of them stiffs
me. The other, a single, leaves me $2. I leave at 6:30 fairly annoyed
at my luck and my $2 in tips, kicking myself for the bad luck I spared
my arch nemesis by taking his shift.

The next night, my usual Monday dinner shift alone, I make a whopping
$20 in tips. I leave, once again early and annoyed at my crappy tips.

When I get home my husband asks how work was. I answer: “Pretty good!
I made 10 times more than I did last night!”
-At Your Service

Saturday Night Fever

StuckServing — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 22:19:16 +0000

The other day I was sat with a young white couple. The girl was a cute blond and the guy was average looking with short spiked hair and glasses. They ordered beers so being the responsible waiter that I am, I asked to see their driver licenses. The guy hands his to me and I look down to see that in his picture he has a ridiculously big afro! He looked so funny that it was all I could do not to bust up laughing. I don’t think I even made it to his birthday to check his age. I brought them their beers and the whole rest of the night I couldn’t stop picturing the guy without a huge afro. I wish I had a picture so you could get the full effect. Alas.

- Dr. J

Waiter, There Is Pasta In My Soup!

StuckServing — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 19:20:08 +0000

The other day I had a lady order my restaurant’s Pasta Fajule soup. Keep in mind, it is called PASTA Fajule. So this lady says that it sounds so good and that she can’t wait to try it. I drop off the soup and go and start another table. As I walk by this lady flags me down and says, “There is to much pasta in this soup!” All I could do was smile and say, “Well, it is called Pasta Fajule.”

- Matt

The Three Way

StuckServing — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 20:44:33 +0000

For some reason I have become a magnet for older people trying to sell me on pyramid scams. I was serving a table of two seniors during a big rush. They were very nice and everything was going well. As I was bringing their dessert and trying to take care of all my other tables, the old lady starts talking to me about “owning my own business”. She starts telling me about this great juice product and how you can make so much money etc etc. I try to be polite and get away but she just kept on talking. Finally she says, “You should talk to my partner. He made about a million dollars last year with this product. We could three way call you, but I need to know the best time for him to call. He is very busy, he has three ways all the time.” Hey that doesn’t sound so bad after all!

- The Magnet