Ok so I always have people ask me about the “numbers” next to the menu
items. It sometimes becomes tiresome to keep saying “That is the price
sir” but I do it. The other day I actually had one particular idiot
ask me ” Well 14 what?” I wanted to say “14 Yen sir we expect that you
can do the conversion on your own.” Idiot, Just a tip folks chances
are the menu will be priced according to the country you are dining
in.
- Tom

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It was a pretty busy night and I had just pre-bussed one of my tables. I went into the kitchen to give the plates to the dishwasher, but he was not behind the sink. Where was he? He was standing right next to the door, shaking a big container of cayenne pepper into some soup. As I passed him I was hit with a big cloud of pepper right in my face! It absorbed nicely into my eyes and hurt so f***ing bad!! I was crying for like ten minutes and was subsequently behind on my tables for the rest of the night. Thanks jackass!!! What are you waiting for?

- Sarah

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I waited on a group of 6 adults and 9 kids. The restaurant was
extremely busy and we had to seat the group in the “event” room. This
requires me to give up my floor tables until the room is taken care
of. I come to one young man of about 9. He asked me if there is egg in
the batter on the chicken tenders, being busy I answered that I didn’t
know but I would imagine there was. He was like can you check I’m
allergic to eggs. So I reluctantly go check with the kitchen. Our head
cook is also the owner and he can be very gruff, and I am slightly
intimidated by him. I stick my head in the door and ask the question.
He looks at me like I’m crazy says he doesn’t know but he thinks there
is. So I go back and tell the kid, he looks so disappointed. But I’m
wanting to get this group taken care of so I can get back on the floor
and make some money. So I’m getting ready to try and talk the kid into
something else when his mother comes over and tells me she would like
the cook to check the ingredients on the box to see if eggs are used.
She must have seen the panic in my eyes and followed me to the kitchen
door. The boss stopped what he was doing got the box from the freezer
and checked the ingredients in front of the mother. It had eggs as we
thought. She then tells me that she use to just accept the answer we
don’t know but we think, of being brushed off because the rest. was
busy. But after seeing your child being disappointed over and over and
realizing that sometimes the help is wrong she demands they check.
Something about this Mothers determination for her son impressed me. I
hugged her and told her as much. she remains one of the best mothers
ever in my eyes. Plus the group made the time worth my while by
tipping about 25.00. Not bad.
- Bullwinkle

One night I was serving a very nice and easy going middle-aged couple. They ordered some wine, an appetizer, and two entrees. The lady was very nice and I barely had to get them so much as a refill on their waters….love it. I bring out their entrees and go by the soda fountain to talk to the other servers. It is really slow so we are all just hanging around.  I glance over at my table and see the lady wave me over. What could possibly be wrong? “Hi, everything tasting ok?” The lady smiles and says, “yes, everything is tasting fine…but there is a big hair in my food,” which she then proceeds to pull out and show me. It was a huge long black hair, definitely from the hostess since she is the only one with hair exactly like that. “Oh my gosh I am so sorry! Let me get you a new plate, it wont take long!” “No, no, its fine. I don’t mind.” Wow. “Please miss, let me get you another plate! You shouldn’t have to eat food with a hair in it.” “Nope, it is fine. It wont kill me.” “Miss you are one of the coolest tables I have ever had. At least let me give you some free dessert, I insist.” “Ok, you have twisted my arm.” After her meal I gave her a big piece of chocolate cake and she gave me a big tip! I still wish she would have let me get her a new plate though….gross.

- Fabio

I work in a very small restaurant with only 2 other waiters, and one
of those waiters is my arch nemesis. I hate him with a fiery passion,
but have to deal with him. He covers the dinner shift alone every
Sunday night… but consistently calls out and/or asks me to work for
him Sundays. Because let’s face it: most Sunday nights suck for tips.

I decided to work for him one Sunday (even though I usually don’t try
to do him any favors, just to spite him). I was bored and figured I
could use a little extra cash. Even if I only made $20, it’d be worth
it.

I get there at 5 pm. I wait on 2 tables by 6 pm. One of them stiffs
me. The other, a single, leaves me $2. I leave at 6:30 fairly annoyed
at my luck and my $2 in tips, kicking myself for the bad luck I spared
my arch nemesis by taking his shift.

The next night, my usual Monday dinner shift alone, I make a whopping
$20 in tips. I leave, once again early and annoyed at my crappy tips.

When I get home my husband asks how work was. I answer: “Pretty good!
I made 10 times more than I did last night!”
-At Your Service

The other day I was sat with a young white couple. The girl was a cute blond and the guy was average looking with short spiked hair and glasses. They ordered beers so being the responsible waiter that I am, I asked to see their driver licenses. The guy hands his to me and I look down to see that in his picture he has a ridiculously big afro! He looked so funny that it was all I could do not to bust up laughing. I don’t think I even made it to his birthday to check his age. I brought them their beers and the whole rest of the night I couldn’t stop picturing the guy without a huge afro. I wish I had a picture so you could get the full effect. Alas.

- Dr. J

The other day I had a lady order my restaurant’s Pasta Fajule soup. Keep in mind, it is called PASTA Fajule. So this lady says that it sounds so good and that she can’t wait to try it. I drop off the soup and go and start another table. As I walk by this lady flags me down and says, “There is to much pasta in this soup!” All I could do was smile and say, “Well, it is called Pasta Fajule.”

- Matt

For some reason I have become a magnet for older people trying to sell me on pyramid scams. I was serving a table of two seniors during a big rush. They were very nice and everything was going well. As I was bringing their dessert and trying to take care of all my other tables, the old lady starts talking to me about “owning my own business”. She starts telling me about this great juice product and how you can make so much money etc etc. I try to be polite and get away but she just kept on talking. Finally she says, “You should talk to my partner. He made about a million dollars last year with this product. We could three way call you, but I need to know the best time for him to call. He is very busy, he has three ways all the time.” Hey that doesn’t sound so bad after all!

- The Magnet

My restaurant is in the middle of a crazy rush. I must have 8 tables, one being a party of 12. Of course, people just keep pouring in through the door expecting fast service. The hostess seats with me a party of 2 right next to my big party. The big party gets ice cream included in their meal, my favorite. As I am taking the order for the ice cream, I stop by the new table and tell the man and woman that I will be with them in a second, and that the hostess will get their drinks started for them. As I am passing out all of these ice creams, running my ass off, I watch as the hostess gets their drinks (2 waters) and gives them some bread to munch on. I return to their table no more than 5 minutes since they have been seated and ask how they are doing. “Hungry.” says the woman in a sarcastic and bitchy tone. Great they are pissed. I get their order put in, (the lady only orders a salad, she must be starving) and the guy gets chicken or something. I check back with them but they haven’t touched their waters or bread and say that they don’t need anything. Keep in mind that they have a front row seat to watch me scurry around the restaurant with all my other tables. Their food is ready really quick and I drop it off and ask if there is anything else I can get for them. They do not respond and just look at me like I am an asshole so I leave. By the end of their meal they still have not touched their drinks and they do not need boxes. I drop the check and then watch as the man goes over to talk to my manager. I couldn’t believe it. He actually complained that the hostess (who got them everything they needed right away while they were waiting) was very rude to them and that I was “the most inattentive waiter he had ever seen”. Then he stiffed me. Haha! What the hell do you want me to do when you don’t drink your water or touch your fucking bread??? That was the best service you ever got in your life dick!

- Mr. Inattentive

The other day, a female couple came into the restaurant, clearly
“together”, and took a seat outside. One lady ordered a diet coke, the
other a water. I promptly brought out there drinks, and took the
order, started the app, and was on my way. A few minutes later, as I
walked by their table,( hands full of food for the next table over )
the diet coke lady flags me down and asks me if I gave her diet coke,
bc it tastes “funny”. I sigh inwardly, knowing our diet coke does, for
some reason, have a different taste to it, that is more noticeable to
some than others. I tell her ok, continue to the table that i have the
food for, then return to them and offer to get her something else.
After telling her that it is indeed diet, and that the only remedy is
a different drink, she looks annoyed but decides to stick with what
she has. Ok. A minute later I drop off their app, and she begins to
complain again about the drink, and her gf gets in on the action,
telling me ” I don’t know with this is, but it’s not diet coke”, they
also claim they found a hair in it, and look at me accusingly ( I have
very long hair, but it is back and secure at work, and I am extremely
careful about it). She then says she wants another drink, but she
still wants diet coke. Aha, conspiracy theory, I am obv lying about it
being diet, so bring me the same thing so I can prove it. Whatever. I
am busy, and one of the doors is stuck, so I ma having to take the
long way around each time I go outside, so I ask the bartender to drop
it off for me. BTW, neither of us were able to locate a hair in the
glass anywhere AND she had drank practically the whole soda. I pass by
the table again, and now they want a manager. wtf? that’s me, but
awkward bc I can tell they’re upset with me, it’s as tho they think I
am intentionally bringing them a tainted drink. Lame. I tell them I am
the supervisor, and they tell me they are leaving, don’t want their
entrees, bc they are so grossed out by the hair in the soda (which
must be why they ordered another and ate the entire app AFTER the
supposed incident) AND reiterate that it was NOT a diet coke. I
apologize, but stick to my guns and tell them I am aware our diet has
a diff taste bc it’s on the gun. But no, she repeats it’s NOT diet and
they’ll pay for the app but that’s it. Of course, I tell them no,
we’ll cover it, so they leave. I am just baffled by this, I mean, I
can understand the taste thing…it’s not the first time someone has
sent back a diet for that reason. And if there truly was a hair, I can
understand that, too…although using that as an excuse AFTER seeing
it and continuing to eat the app doesn’t fly with me. What I don’t
understand is throwing a big fuss over a soda that can be replaced
with something else, and basically accusing my bartender and I of
intentionally giving them an off drink. What could we possibly have to
gain? It’s not as tho making a guest angry is beneficial to either of
us! My bartender had her own theory…she swears the younger of the 2
was checking us both out, and the other got jealous. True? I dunno.
What I do know is that was a weird situation that those ladies blew
waaayyyy out of proportion. It’s a soda, not the end of the world!

- Serenity