After my first job as a bus boy in a lobster restaurant, I had thought that I
had been though the worst a bus boy could. Well, I was wrong! I was
working at well known chain restaurant and A man barfed after he forgot how to eat his
hamburger. He ran to the bathroom and I went to clean it up (not
unusual). I sighed and the entire restaurant saw me walk over to clean
the mess up, for this I got a roaring applause I waved and went to
work. It was gross It was everywhere and I had to mop the ground like
4 times! People walked by and laughed while they handed me like 3 to 4
dollar tips for my hard work, AWSOME! The guy came back and gave me 20
bucks…SWEET! Hey no problem i made some money and the restaurant
loves me. I AM THE MAN, or so i thought. My manager (a middle-aged
nasty lady) proceeded to scold me because I didn’t ask her before I
used the Bleach, who knew a busser needed to ask to cleaning supplies!
She yelled louder and louder until the man walked over with 3 other
guys and publicly humiliated her. Everyone in the place got so mad at
her they left, i quit and Her boss called me the next day with an
apology. Sometimes the world gives you a free one…

- Lee

It is one day after thanksgiving and the restaurant is dead. I am one of 2 servers on, and we are both ready to close early and get out there. Of course, right at the last second, a table walks in. They are regulars…..unfortunately. It is an old lady and her husband. They come in almost every day, and complain about something every time. They request Danny, the other server on the floor besides myself. He is devastated. I laugh at him and watch as he goes over to the table. He comes back to get the drinks and I tell him I will grab some bread for the table. He doesn’t respond and reluctantly returns to the guests. I put no my most obnoxious fake waiter smile and walk over to his table, bread in hand. “How you guys doing? I grabbed some bread for you!” I say with mock enthusiasm. “Oh thank you,” say the old couple simultaneously. “Yeah thank you, you remorseless bastard,” mutters Danny, just loud enough for me to hear. I start laughing immediately and excuse myself from the table. They were none the wiser. It was great.

- Blair

It is a busy Tuesday night and I get sat with a party of 3. Two guys and a lady. I approach the table and ask if I can get them anything to drink. The two guys order Cokes, and the lady says she doesn’t want anything to drink at all. “Are you sure you don’t just want a water?” “Um……ok, I guess.” Wow its not that big a deal lady. For a lady that didn’t want a fucking thing to drink in the first place, I must have gotten her about 15 refills. Just order something to drink when I ask you and save us all the fucking hassle when you finally do get thirsty.

- Mike

I have worked as a front desk clerk of hotel for almost 2 years now and I have definitely seen my share of assholes and scam artists. Recently a family of 4 come in and get 2 rooms. I did not receive any type of complaint or request the whole evening, so I assumed everything was ok. The next morning, as I was dropping my wife off to work (she works at the same hotel), I notice the 2 families checking out. The oldest gentleman walks by the desk and says “I didn’t have any hot water, you should give me my room for free!” My wife explains that no one was made aware of the problem the previous night but if they would like, we can give them the room for half off and give them the option to shower in another clean room. He mumbles something and walks over to eat breakfast. A few minutes later, a middle aged man from the same group claimed that his room didn’t have any hot water either. I was suspicious of it but my wife didn’t want to deal with these people and gave them half off as well. I shrugged it off and decided to check for myself. Both rooms had hot water and it appeared that most of them had taken showers. It was a scam the whole time and they got a free room out of it…assholes.

Jeremy

Today I had a ridiculously needy table, and not only were they needy but RUDE and needy, my favorite!! I understand needy, but be polite about it for God sakes!!! I took great care of them as always, and when they finally paid I breathed a sigh of relief. I went to pick up the check and great, they left me a “super generous” 10 percent tip!  A few minutes later I noticed one of the people from the party (the rudest one!) looking around the table like they lost something. I went up and asked him if there was something I could help him with and he said, “Do you have my cell phone??!!” I innocently replied, “Why no sir, I havent seen it, but I will surely go ask the bussers if they noticed it”. Cue me taking a loop around the restaurant, pretending to go find the busser to ask him. “Uh, sorry sir the busser hasn’t seen it, maybe you left it in your car?” Him: “No, I’m sure I left it here, but they said no one turned it in.” Me (In my head): “Well, maybe if you weren’t such a dick Jose the busser wouldn’t be calling his abuelo in Guadalajara on your phone right now!!”  Karma is a bitch sir.

I had this asshole guy and his wife at one of my tables. He orders a linguini and clams dish and she has some fucking salad or something. He is a dick the entire time, even though I got him every little thing his heart desired. I bring out is clams and he says that everything looks good. I come back later when he was about finished to make sure that everything was still going well. I see a bowl of clam shells and like 3 noodles left on his plate. “You all done her sir?” He looks up at me and says, “You know, there really weren’t that many clams in this dish, I think you should take it off the check.” “Well sir, if you would have told me earlier I could have done something about it, but since you are done with your meal already I can’t do anything about it.” Then he gets pissed. “Well you can see that there are no clams on this plates, right??” “Yeah, but I see a whole lot of shells, maybe there aren’t any clams on this plate because YOU ATE THEM ALL.” He gets all pissed and asks for a manager, thinking that I am going to get in trouble. It was all I could do to not point and laugh when my manager said, “You can’t eat your whole meal and then complain about it at the end and try to get it for free.” The guy was soooo pissed. I loved every second of it.

- Dan

One lunch shift I was sat with a party of 2. They came in, ordered two waters, asked for bread before I could say my name, got two side salads, ate about 10 bread rolls each, sat in my booth for an hour,  and stiffed me. What the fuck is wrong with people??

- John

It is a busy Friday night and I get sat with a really nice family. A very young brother and sister, and the parents. They are all very polite and I tell them I will get them started with some drinks. The mother looks at me and says very calmly, “I will have an iced tea, but I want half vodka, half tea, and please keep them coming!” I was a little startled and as was nodding my head to show that I understood the little girl jumps up on the booth and exclaims “IT’S MOMMY’S BIRTHDAY AND SHE IS CELEBRATING!!” She certainly was. After about 5 of these half tea half vodka concoctions she was pretty tipsy. The husband just sat there drinking a coke and letting his wife have a great time. I gave her a free dessert and when I brought the check the same little girl says “MOMMY REALLY LIKES YOU, YOU MADE HER BIRTHDAY FUN!” I guess she did like me, when I saw my tip I thought it was my birthday!

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- Blair

A table asked me about the menu, as we have a fresh fish list this is
quite common.
Customer “Do you have Red Snapper? I don’t see it on the list.”
Waiter (trying not to roll eyes.) “No I’m sorry we don’t have it
today.”
(Keep in mind we have never had this fish EVER at our location. I have
been working there since the day we opened the restaurant.)
Customer “Why not? you had it last week.”
Waiter “I’m so sorry we didn’t maybe you confused us with some place
else. But we do have great alternatives.”
Customer “Liar! You had it! I’ve been coming here for 5 years!! You
have had it, I’m not confused!”
Waiter “Well we’ve only been open for a year and a half so who is the
liar now?”

I walked straight to the manager and said “My table has a complaint
for you..

- Taylor

Customer “Can I have the exact same thing as him, except I want my
steak cooked medium and instead of fries can I get mashed potatoes. Oh
and also no green beans I’ll have asparagus.”

Waiter “So you don’t want the same thing as him?”

Customer “Yes, I do. Weren’t you listening?”

Nod and smile and bite your tongue so hard there are holes in it.

- Taylor